"Caring for Each Other"

Photo by J W on Unsplash

You might ask yourself the question: Why do human beings care for each other? It certainly seems there are a lot of people who do not seem to care about their fellow humans, except, perhaps, another person such as a wife and possibly their family members.

 If aliens landed on earth and looked around, they might misinterpret what they see. They might think that humans not only do not care about each other, but they are normally hostile to each other given the conflicts, wars and killing they would easily see all over the world. They might even see law enforcement agencies throughout the world enforcing order, preventing crimes and capturing those who violently attack other humans in a myriad of ways. Here again they might misinterpret what they see – or is this all a misinterpretation? And on a side note, these same aliens might wonder why these human creatures seem so intent on destroying the very place they live (in other words, planet earth)?

To say the least, human beings are complex creatures. Let’s first consider that there are biological reasons why humans care for each other. Individually, human beings do not have a lot of power and capability to survive alone in a world that is hostile in so many ways. Accordingly, over the course of hundreds of thousands of years, humans who cared about each other and those who were cared for – survived and they were able to produce children and to teach them the importance of caring for each other. In other words, evolution played a big role in enabling humans to care for each other.

If you look around the animal kingdom – and we humans are animals, you will see that all mammals care for each other too, in varying degrees, but it does depend on the species. In all cases, there is maternal care since baby mammals are unable to care for themselves and need care from their mother when they are young (and sometimes their fathers - although this is less common). The same is true of birds (which are not mammals).

Evolution enabled humans to be cared for longer by their mothers because it takes longer for a young human to grow up as opposed to most mammals which reach adulthood more quickly. And once grown, a lot of mammals no longer have any interest in their offspring.

To be sure, love is as aspect of caring. When humans love someone, they want to care for them. Love, of course, is a complex emotion. It involves a lot of factors such as strong positive feelings for another person, intimacy, compassion, and a desire for another person’s well-being. All of these emotions create a need to care for the other person. Many animals have the same feelings. Anyone who has owned a pet such a dog or cat knows well that dogs and cats too can have a sense of love.

Love as well is a product of evolution because love causes caring for others and, of course, it helps ensure the continuation of the species.

There are many evolutionary biologists who claim the evolution of all living things is a fact in and of itself. In other words, evolution just happens. There is nothing behind it. This is kind of like the idea that the universe just happened. There is nothing behind it. There is no meaning and no purpose. In other words, caring for others is a result of a blind unconscious process which just happened to occur here on earth because the conditions were just right. There is nothing more to it.

Some scientists, however, do not see it this way. Curiously Alfred Russel Wallace who proposed the theory of natural selection and evolution at the same time as Charles Darwin, thought there was more to evolution then just mere happenstance. He could not explain just what it was, but he was sure something was behind life on earth and also behind the process of evolution. This was the reason, he thought, that human beings care for one another.

Wallace was amazed by what he found in natural selection and evolution. He said the human brain was, in his words, “overengineered” because there was no evolutionary purpose for humans to have such capabilities as the gifts of art, music and abstract reasoning. He stated that the advanced human traits of care and compassion could also not be explained simply by natural selection and evolution. He believed there was a spiritual purpose and a spiritual force behind all of these things.

Mainstream scientists such as Charles Darwin disagreed with this view and proposed a purely materialist view of human evolution. Materialists believe that only matter and energy exist in the universe and everything, including consciousness, can be explained by physical processes. Today, this absolute viewpoint is very much in question by a lot of scientists. Some now think there are varying degrees of consciousness in all living things. And there is the theory of panpsychism that suggests that everything in the universe has some level of consciousness and the universe itself has a pervading consciousness. This theory of panpsychism has been around for a long time and goes back to ancient Greece.

In any case, as all the world’s religions developed, they embraced the idea of caring for others. If you ask many Christians what makes Christianity unique, some will tell you that “you should love your neighbor as yourself.” I happen to agree strongly with this philosophy but this is not what makes Christianity unique. It is a characteristic of all the world’s religions.

Hinduism is the oldest existing world religion. It makes care and compassion for others a duty – as in the reading. In fact, Hinduism promotes the idea of “ahimsa” or non-violence which mandates and care and compassion for all beings. Buddhism and other Indian religions such as Jainism and Sikhism carry with them these Hindu beliefs and makes it a core requirement to obtain eternal bliss defined as moksha, nirvana or mukti depending on which Indian religion it is.

To be sure, the ideas of caring for others is strongly promoted in Judaism. In the Book of Leviticus in Hebrew scripture (the Old Testament), Chapter 19 states: “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord"

Some scholars think this passage suggests this Hebrew law applied only to other Jews. This is hotly debated by both Jewish and Christian scholars. That said, very clearly, Jesus believed and stated that his law applied to all people which is why he told the parable of the Samaritan that was our first reading.

Contrary to what some people in America think, Islam definitely promotes care and compassion for others. The Qur’an and the Hadith (which are sayings of Mohammed) call for kindness and care for vulnerable people of every kind. Compassion for Muslims should be part of everyone’s daily life including how people greet each other and how Muslims should treat others no matter what their background is. Muslims are required by Islamic law to donate to charity as much as they are able and to show mercy to those who have offended them. It is important to remember that Islam was greatly influenced by Judaism and Christianity and, therefore, as it developed, it included many characteristics of both. This is why care and compassion for others is so important to Muslims.

(Like any religion – this does not mean its followers follow these precepts.)

The Book of Genesis suggests that humans were made as it says, “in God’s image.” Most would agree that this doesn’t mean that humans look like God but rather, humans should act like God. If God is creative and loving and filled with care and compassion for humanity, so too should human beings. Muslims would agree with this.

While I may not agree with the theology of Judaism, Christianity or Islam, I absolutely agree with the call to love others and to be as compassionate to others as possible. From what I can tell, these ideas are also promoted in Taoism and Confucianism although, perhaps, not in the same way.

There are, of course, cynical critics of religion. To be sure, there are those that condemn Christianity, for example, as a scourge to humanity. Frederick Nietzsche roundly criticized Christianity. He suggested it created a “slave mentality” which promotes humility, meekness and self-sacrifice for others which he saw as terrible roadblocks to human potential.

The rabid atheist Christopher Hitches argued in his book God is Not Great, that organized religion and Christianity in particular, poison everything.

I could not disagree more. Well yes, I say, to be sure, religions, including Christianity, have been used as excuses for heinous acts. Slavery, the subjugation of women, the crusades, antisemitism and so many wars around the world throughout the last 2000 years have been justified by pulling passages out of Christian scripture. But this is what humans do to justify their own deplorable actions against others. The command to “love others as you love yourself” pretty much dismisses the idea that Christianity offers a good excuse for misogyny or violent actions against other human beings. It is pretty easy to see how Christianity altered the world of the Roman Empire and eventually the western world.

The idea of loving others and caring for your neighbor was an unknown concept to the Romans. Instead, Roman society promoted “a limited form of caring for others which was usually tied to social status, political ambition or mutual obligation rather than a universal ethic of compassion for all human beings.” Roman government social programs, and there were some, were not oriented around humanitarian ideals but, instead, as a way to ensure order or to gain political support. (Bread and circuses).

Families were supposed to care for others in their family but not beyond this. Elderly people who had no family were in a really tough and life-threatening position, for example. This all changed with the gradual influx of Christianity and when Christianity became the state religion. In fact, after the empire officially became Christian, state sponsored charity became embedded in Roman government policies.

By the 4th century, Christian organizations also established hospitals and resources that helped serve the poor – beyond what the state could provide.

History is filled with stories of Christian individuals, including monks and nuns, who dedicated their lives to serving others and fulfilling the command to love others. Their compassion and love became a model for how Christians should act and it explains why the act of giving to others in need became an integral part of being a good Christian. There are countless examples of people who were supposedly Christian but perpetrated violence, cruelty and selfishness in their actions but then tried to make amends for this by donating to charities in an effort to “save their souls.” This is because they knew Christianity demanded care and compassion for others.

I think the requirement to love and serve others has become imbedded in western culture – even among people who are not religious. Think of all the hospitals in the United States. More than 20% of all the hospitals in the America were started and are operated by Christian organizations. 13% of these are Catholic.

Yes, I do think the eastern religions call for caring for and loving others. There are hospitals in Asia started by Hindu and Buddhist orders similar to those in the west. But I do wonder if some Asian societies promote care and compassion as much as in the west.

Some years ago, I was on an official visit in China studying port infrastructure around China. Our host was driving us between Chinese cities and at one point we were on highway passing through a rural area. This highway did not have “clover leafs” for exits but just side streets to enter and exit a village. At one point we slowed because there was a terrible accident. There was a body lying in the road. All the villagers were in a circle around the person just staring at the body. No one was helping.

I asked our driver, “will someone come to help.” Yes – he said, “an ambulance will come but person better have cash or credit card.” Upon further inquiry, I discovered that in much of China, first responders demand cash or a credit card up front before service is rendered. And no one in the village was willing to help this person either. This, of course, runs counter to how this situation would have been handled in western countries. I suspect 2000 years of Christian history have made the difference. Remember the saying you often hear about people who are not displaying care and compassion for others. You hear the expression, “that’s not very Christian of them.” All of this to me points to the demand that we love each other as we love ourselves.

At Nichols College, I teach Leadership to freshmen – which is a required course. There are many factors which make a good leader such as competence, good communication, resilience and courage, integrity, accountability just to name a few. But a key characteristic that I really promote is compassion for others. A leader who is compassionate – who demonstrates they really care for those whom they are responsible for will definitely find their organization performing better. And this includes organizations such as companies, nonprofits, military units and any other type of organization. When a person cares for others, they will respond in kind.

In the final analysis, I believe that care and compassion for others – loving your neighbor as yourself is a requirement for true spirituality. In my view, and I think this is supported by all the world’s religions, compassion is an absolute part of a spiritual life. I think its absence is a main reason why we see so much hate and injustice in our world today. This, of course, is made so pervasive by the explosion of media sources such as social media. There is probably more hate and violence today than ever before in human history. This is due to an increase in human population but it is also do to media sources which perpetuate hate and violence causing more violence and hatred in return.

Think about it – can you think of a truly spiritual person who is filled with hate and violence. I can’t. I can think of a lot of supposedly religious people who are anything but compassionate but these are not spiritual people. Remember, religion is so often used as an excuse for perpetrating hatred and violent acts. Christian nationalism is but one example. Christian nationalism is a political ideology wrapping itself in a religious cloak. It is anything but spiritual.

It is the Mother Theresa’s of the world who have adopted and demonstrated the command to love your neighbor as yourself. History, past and present, is filled with these type of individuals. Mother Theresa was truly a spiritual person but she was not so religious. For 50 years, she struggled with her faith, often questioning the very existence of God. Yet she persevered in her belief in care and compassion for others. Her background did not give her the tools to consider there might be other ways to view the sacred source of all things. She only knew about the Biblical God. It was this God that she questioned.

Because of all the media sources and social media on our cell phones, we are exposed, as never before, to human violence in all its manifestations. Some people become so overwhelmed by this they tell me they no longer look at the news. I understand this. But there is a way to combat this and also to fight against it.

If a person constantly looks at negative news including violence and hatred, it can actually “rewire” their brain. This is called neuroplasticity (the rewiring of the brain). It is now understood by medical science to be a fact. This type of rewiring can cause a violent person to become more violent. The opposite is true. You can actually rewire your brain to focus on love and compassion and to make yourself care more for others. If each of us practices compassion and loving others in our daily life we can make a tiny difference in the world and together, we can make the world a better place.

So yes – limit the news you look at that is filled with violence and hatred – especially on social media. People do not need social media to stay in touch with what is happening in the world. Follow only mainstream media which does include good things that are happening in the world.

Make a morning pledge to yourself, every day, to find a way to be grateful for your life. If you have trouble doing this (and it can be hard for anyone sometimes) – take the time to write down all the good things in your life. Find a way each day to

be caring and compassionate toward another person. That may include friends and family but, perhaps it will include a stranger you meet. As you go about your day, focus on always trying to greet strangers, holding a door for them or finding a way to help them. Random acts of kindness will make you feel good, and it may have a very positive affect on the other person and help them to feel better about the world.

If someone attacks you in some way – perhaps because you make a mistake, don’t return the attack. Instead apologize in some way.

Spend time in nature. A walk on a trail or on a beach on Cape Cod can fill you with awe if you really pay attention to the world around you. Take time each day to meditate by emptying your mind of all your troubles and focusing on all the wonderful things in this world.

All of these things will help make you a happier person. They will help you become more caring and compassionate toward others and in a small way, you will help change the world as people see what type of person you are striving to be.

As Elisabeth Kubler Ross once said, “I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help. There is no mistaking love…it is the common fiber of life, the flame that heats our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives.”

Reverend Christopher McMahon

UUMH Chatham

November 2, 2025